Saturday, 12 March 2011

Charlotte and I

Now that my future is settled, Charlotte has been letting some more of her friends and colleagues know about our, or my, 'situation'.

You have to idea how truly humiliating it is. I've heard her on the phone laughing with her friends...always behind a closed door (never in front of me).

The most obvious question you might be asking is, "why is she laughing? Hasn't she just had it confirmed her man is a sissy. Even after making a massive effort to be a man for her. What woman wants a sissy for a boyfriend?"

That's true. Charlotte is SO beautiful. She's always attracted...well...alpha males before we were together. But I was always called a pretty boy. Pretty like her.

The reality is that Charlotte is exactly like 99% of women out there. Physically and sexually attracted to real men. Not wimps.

She needs this...

Certainly not me. Not in that way.

What woman wants a sissy as a boyfriend?

Some perhaps. But not Charlotte, that's for sure. The longer we've been together, the more it's been obvious to me I've never been Charlotte's usual 'type'. Our relationship has always been so much deeper than merely physical.

We're so close.

It was Charlotte that helped me explore my submissive nature. She spotted it before me, and together we've taken it through it's natural course. She's uncovered the real me. Someone so much better suited to being a girl, than a dirty, hunky man. With long hair, pierced ears, a pretty smile, dresses...humiliation...peace in myself.

Not a big, grizzly, hunky man.

Then there's our sex life. I've never been able to satisfy her the way a real man would. I've always been smaller than most. Much more likely to elicit a reaction like this...

Amusement, sometimes disappointment, embarrassment but most of all, laughter. And sympathy. And friendship. Whereas Charlotte needs someone with a package that can elicit this reaction from her...flirtiness...

Or sheer lust...

So moving forward...

I love Charlotte with all my heart. I'm 100% committed to her. And I know she loves me too. And is committed to my happiness. We live together, and we're still together. And we plan to remain together on many levels.

But I can't hope to keep her happy in every way.

I'm more of a girlfriend. An adoring, loving, girlfriend. A submissive, embarrassed, adoring sissy in pretty dresses...

A woman like Charlotte needs to be wanted by a MAN. She needs masculine, alpha male attention to be the woman she is. And above that, SHE wants a man. She needs to be dominated, to be desired, to feel submissive, to be taken...

I desperately want to be that man, but it's clear from Charlotte that I will never be the type of man she needs to fulfil her needs.

From time to time, she'll need someone like this...

The scary thing continue on the road I'm on, Charlotte's convinced that from time to be a true woman...I'll need a man too.

To be be treat me like the woman I need to be. To be truly happy.

Charlotte and I are still talking about the future. There's no doubt she wants to see me have that experience. That she wants to see me fulfilled. as a woman.

And what do I want?

I want Charlotte.

But there HAS been a switch in my mentality. The way I see myself. My role in the world.When I see pictures like the ones below, I have a new my mind, I'm no longer the man in the picture.

The are two alternatives...

1. Charlotte is the woman in the picture. She is desired...loved... adored...submissive...I love her so much, I need heed to be fulfilled. I am the one taking the pictures. She loves me...she needs him.

2. I am the woman, with Charlotte taking the picture. Which I find scary, humiliating, and arousing.

Picture 1

In sweet lingerie, snuggled up to my man..close to him...his manhood brushing my cheek...him playing with the lace on my panties...Charlotte encouraging me...smiling...instructing..."undo the button...slide your hand in...take it out...that's it...gently kiss the your fingers along your mouth...wrap your lips around it...taste it...good girl..."

Picture 2

Wearing a dress Charlotte bought for me. Being sophisticated, wanted...a kept woman...playing the role of housewife, keeping my man happy...Loving him...needing him

Picture 3

On a double date. Charlotte in the row behind, making out with her between her kisses, whispering to me as I kiss him back, his hand moving up my leg towards my skirt...Charlotte gently whispering in my ear..." sweet girl...just do what I do...let him touch you...kiss him gently..."

Charlotte will read this later and laugh.

And then she'll decide what's next for me...for Caitlin.

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