Sunday, 25 April 2010

Lost adolescence...

I LOVE these two pictures...





I can't help imagining what it would be like to be this girl...trying on dresses, being pretty...happy.

Imagine if this was part of the rest of your life. I dream about this constantly.

To be (a sissy), or not to be (a sissy)

Imagine someone could assure you that in just a few months you could be living the rest of your life as a woman? Feminine, pretty, delicate, divine, happy and free.

Amazing, right?

On the face of it, for a sissy, absolutely.

But if you start to piece all of the implications together...anything but terrifying. For instance:

1. What will my friends think when they realise, like my girlfriend has, that I'm just a little sissy who had semi-latent (now realised) dreams of being a girl. Plus, what will Charlotte's friends think? Would they be supportive? Would they laugh at me and call me a sissy, or just smile?





2. How is it that Charlotte realised who the real (feminine) me is before I did? To have someone else in complete control of your own destiny...picking your clothes...your life...that's scary.



3. Family...job...international travel...all problems.







4. Necessary physical changes...breasts, genitalia..., electrolysis (ok, already started the last one). I already look very feminine, but MAYBE minor surgery too.



5. And this is the big one...losing the girl that I love and adore. That's a big price to pay. How long can a hetrosexual, sensual, sexual, attractive woman stay with someone like me, when she needs...well...a real man. A masculine man. Someone hunky and muscle-bound. Someone...endowed...well...at least above average. Someone who can make Charlotte content, and excite her.





So what's got me thinking like this? Coming home from work last night...

I returned as usual just after 6. Unusually, Charlotte was home before me. As I came through the door she greeted me in the hallway, looking splendid in an outfit not dissimilar to this one...



"Hey Caity! How's my little sissy?" Charlotte said, with a big smile on her face, giving me a hug.

"Er..I'm ok", I replied, meekly. It's funny, even though Charlotte's positively encouraging my transformation, I'm still mortified that it's happening, particularly that she's directing progress...my own girlfriend.

"Good. Why don't you pop upstairs and get those horrid boy clothes off? I've left an outfit out for you on the bed...you'll look adorable for when Sophie comes around later."

I blushed. Sophie is the very pretty girl who used to fancy me. She manages a dress shop in quite a fashionable part of town. I replied "ok", and went upstairs.

I walked into the bedroom and laid out on the bed was a bra, some panties and this exact dress:



This is a dress Charlotte bought out in Malaysia, I think for a wedding, two years ago, but she never wore.

Unsure whether Charlotte was gifting me the dress, I hopped into the shower, shaved my legs, washed my hair (now shoulder length), towelled off, blow dried my hair, popped my breast forms into my bra it, and my panties, on. I sat at Charlotte's dressing table and added some mascara, light foundation and some eye shadow (just as she taught me).

By the time this had happenned, at least 30 min had gone. That's when I noticed the second phone, in our bedroom, had a flashing light on. Someone was on the other line - obviously Charlotte.

Perhaps it was my insecurity about being in our bedroom dressed in feminine underwear. Anyway, I decided to pick up the phone.

Charlotte was talking to Sophie. I pressed the mute button and listened.



"...what to do," said Charlotte.

"I know hun. It's tough for you, but you have to live your own life too. It's amazing what you're doing for Caity, but what about YOUR future? Are you really happy...with a sissy?" asked Sophie.

"I DO love him...her...But, I mean, it's not exactly what I dreamed of. We never have sex, and even if we did...you know...it's not going to work for me. He's too...little. And it's not just that. I mean, I'm not a lesbian...I like men."

"And he's no longer a man."

"Exactly", Charlotte agreed. "He's a sissy. A girl. And I know he's scared, but it's honestly the right thing for him. I can completely tell."

"Perhaps he'll rebel? Revert back to his former self?". I could tell Sophie was trying hard to reassure Charlotte. "Maybe he's not REALLY a sissy? Deep down I mean."

"Not a sissy? You should see the dress I've left out for him to wear tonight!" Charlotte laughed, but was clearly sad at the same time. "If there was ANY chance of him reverting back, and it has to be his choice, he would never wear that dress...ever. For pity's sake, it's too feminine for me even!!"

Sophie laughed. I hung up. I looked at the dress.

A choice.

To wear the dress, or not wear the dress?

What would you do?